How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
