i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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