Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
