I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
