I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hippo gnu deer
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
