remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you would pick up someone in the library
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
