I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
