dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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