And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize