Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
