pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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