i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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