I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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