Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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