just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
