Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
