so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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