i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
