don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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