One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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