You just made me feel so damn special
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i already hear my dad disowning me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
