we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
