I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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