We're like a lot better than the average bears
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
