and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I had your ass I would rule the world
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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