Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
