Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
