Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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