i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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