Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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