i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
