I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
