If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
