My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
