Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
