I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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