sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize