One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
