I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
