My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
