It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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