So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
