I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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