Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
