Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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