I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize