What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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