How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
