this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
