he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
