When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
