So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize