Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize