we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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