Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
