what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
