His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
